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On occasion, I
take one for the team. Against my better judgment, I go
out there on the football field of noisy and predictable
movies and prepare myself to be sacked. I might be
knocked unconscious and bloodied a bit, but I do it for
the sake of the team. My teammate is my daughter.
Movies
like "College Road Trip," now on DVD, are usually
an
automatic enticement for little girls like my sweet
kid. Once those previews for this movie came out, she
wanted to see it, and badly. She convinced her mom to
take her to see it in the theater because I wanted no
part of it. They thought it was hilarious. Now I must
pay the price and watch it myself.
When seeing previews and hearing critical reviews of a
movie, it's probably unfair to judge a movie without
seeing it first. I'll flat out mention that I despised
this movie's preview. The cute little pig seemed like a
gimmick to make the kids in the audience laugh. Then
there was the screaming scene of over-protective father
(Martin Lawrence) and his daughter Melanie
(Raven-Symoné) skydiving. I've given this movie a
viewing and let me just say my judgment of the film was
warranted. Ugh. Why do they continue to make movies like
this?
If you thought that action
movies have noisy soundtracks, this one has 'em beat.
Raven-Symoné and her friends in the movie scream at high
pitch, causing me many times to turn down the volume on
my sound system. Your
tweeters will get a workout, and so might your eardrums.
It's not that I don't enjoy Raven-Symoné. She's got a
nice singing voice, but I don't want to hear her
screeching through a movie.
Symoné was the lead on the popular Disney Channel show,
"That's So Raven." She's a beautiful young woman and
has personality to burn. Her personality is years beyond
her age, and she's talented as an actress and singer.
One would think that this film would be a ideal vehicle
for her. But it's more of an exercise of torture for an
adult. My wife is easily pleased by entertainment like
this and she enjoyed and apparently laughed during
"College Road Trip." She also likes Celine Dion and me,
so that might explain a lot!
The story of an over-obsessed dad trying to protect his
daughter from the grown up world isn't new. Steve Martin
did an admirable job in "Father of the Bride" (1991). My
daughter isn't even close to college age, and I can
guarantee I'll probably be worried sick about her. After
all, I was a young man in college and my motives dealing
with young ladies would've had their dad's watching my
moves. Martin Lawrence's performance in this movie is
creepy, and this isn't supposed to be a horror movie.
He's just too protective of his daughter. I found it
hard to believe that the Chief of Police would be so
obnoxious and so reckless as he is in this movie.
Most of the characters in "College Road Trip" are
duplicates of other obnoxious characters in movies like
"Are We There Yet?" and "RV."
Donny Osmond is a copy of the character of Ned Flanders
on "The Simpsons" and is really kind of
creepy. Flanders is enjoyable, where Osmond's character
isn't. The pet pig is reminiscent of the pet duck in
Disney's own "The Pacifier." And the soundtrack,
surprise, is filled with songs that try to match the
scene. Try "Down Bring Me Down" by '70s sensation ELO
for the skydiving scene, you've got and idea how much
originality went into the production.
Most movies made now follow a cut-and-paste formula
anyway, so it's not necessary to come down hard on
"College Road Trip." It's not as bad as critics have
said, but it's not very good. At least it's not as bad
as another kid/tween flick, "Bratz: The Movie." I hope
my team is happy I got bruised up on this movie.
Bill Kallay
Special thanks to Click Communications
Photos: © Disney. All rights reserved.
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