 |
|
 |
Oh M. Night
Shyamalan, what happened with "The Happening?" What made
you write such a silly script and direct with your eyes
closed? Didn't you realize that this movie just wouldn't
work? Did you look at the dailies and realize that your
direction was uninvolving? Didn't you watch the dailies
unfold before your Anne Hathaway eyes and realize that
the acting was amateurish? Didn't you notice the movie
had all the excitement and mystery of a bad first year
film school project? Why didn't someone come to you and
say, "M. Not to be mean, but this movie is awful!"
"The Happening" is on now on DVD.
Many years ago, I took a screenwriting class in college.
I was cocky and thought that my script writing was
better than anyone's in that class, especially since I
was a film major. In that class, there was an older guy,
probably in his late-20s. He had written a script that
he obviously had spent a lot of time on. It took elements
of "Star Wars" and science fiction, and what he wrote,
in hindsight, was a decent script. When the class had to
critique everyone's screenplay, his was one of the
first. I raised my hand and volunteered my opinions
about his script.
I was merciless and at times, cruel.
When it came time to review my script, most of the class
was pretty fair and most actually liked it. When that
guy took his turn, he trashed my script, and I deserved
it. I should've used better constructed criticism, but
being naive and young, I didn't. Had I had the maturity,
I would've apologized to that guy. It taught me a lesson
and that was when you critique someone's work, be fair
and not cruel.
When it comes to Hollywood films and filmmakers, usually
most critics will take the gloves off and pound away on
bad movies. You'd think that after that screenwriting
class incident, I'd be more forgiving and less harsh on
a movie review. I guess I haven't grown up enough,
because frankly, I thought "The Happening" was a mess
from the opening titles. Hearing of its bad reviews
before hand, I actually declined the invitation to
review it because I knew I'd be merciless. A few days
later, I got the envelope in the mail with a brand-new
DVD of the film. Thanks Scott! (LOL--Scott's is my main
contact at Click Communications for DVDs and Blu-ray
discs).
Almost every filmmaker has made at least one turkey in
their career. The public and critics will place
filmmakers high on a pedestal if they so happen to make
a really good movie. When those same directing darlings
make a turkey that's overcooked in bad juices, the
public stays away (usually), and the critics sharpen
their pencils and write down bad movies on their Ten
Worst Lists.
So here I am 20 years after that fateful evening in
scriptwriting class. Our teacher, himself a failed
screenwriter, hated every movie that came out, then
would proceed to make the class go see such gems as
"Everybody's All-American." Yes, 1988 was a crappy year
for movies. I remember all too well the poor
scriptwriter who sat in the back of the class and I
trashed his script. I recall now how bad that guy must
have felt. I recall feeling bad myself for being such a
jerk. Normally, I'm one of the kindest people around and
normally don't dish out dirt on someone's work. But when
it came to movies, let the bashing begin, even with
classmates at that time.
How do I, as a responsible adult and movie reviewer,
grade Shyamalan's newest Shyamalan horror, mystery,
suspense, whatever he makes up in his head movie, with
fairness? On one level, since Shyamalan is a top paid
writer/director/producer/sometimes actor, doesn't he
deserve a fair review? On another level, since he's
highly paid and should use all those mighty creative
powers to make a good movie, he's fair game. Public
figure, right? We yell at big bucks athletes when they
fumble just before they reach the end zone, and we
scream in bloody horror when a player bobbles a baseball
during a crucial play. We complain about politicians
being the most stupid people on Earth. Perhaps we're
harsh on those people in high places because we think we
can do a better job. Or perhaps because we expect them
to perform because we pay good money to see them or keep
them in office.
When it comes to the talent of Shyamalan, I'm not one of
his ardent followers. I confess that I haven't seen all
of his movies, mostly because I think they all feel the
same, and that's just based on the previews. Same
mysterious story element. Same production design. Same
cloudy and moody landscapes with dead trees. Same
cinematography. Same wild and supposedly unexpected
ending that's supposed to blow you away. Same
unexplained presence of Shyamalan trying to act. Every
time I see his name or his face on the screen, my face
smirks and I utter, "Who the hell does this guy think he
is?"
To my cynical film eyes, he's a spoiled kid from a nice
part of Philly who made it big in the movies. He comes
off in interviews and in the movies as smug and a person
who might think of himself as some kind of filmmaking
genius. His name is splashed all over the credits like a
bad Eddie Murphy directed movie. If Shyamalan made a
number of brilliant movies films like Stanley Kubrick or
Steven Spielberg that still amaze you 30 years later,
then I could probably look past his persona and enjoy
the movies for what they are. But Shyamalan is
different. His films feel and play like they come from a
Shyamalan template. Sure, he made one huge hit movie,
1999's "The Sixth Sense." It was actually good until you
figured it out (before the "mind-blowing" ending), then
you realize that maybe it wasn't all that great to begin
with.
I equate Shyamalan to certain bands or singers that you
just don't like. It doesn't matter if you can't quite
pinpoint the reason -- you just don't like them. For
some people, they can't stand The Eagles or in my case,
Sheryl Crow. Even if they produce something every once
in a while that you deem very good, you mutter, "Eh, you
got lucky." The same holds for me with when it comes to
Shyamalan. I don't think he's all what some movie fans
and critics have built up.
"The Happening," in the kindest of terms, is a bad
movie. There is no way of going around this car crash.
It's mangled and the build quality is shoddy, even by
Yugo standards. You can't help but stare in awe and
disbelief. You sit there wondering what happened before
this movie crashed. Did Mark Wahlberg's agent call him
up and say, "Mark! You thought 'Boogie Nights' changed
your career? Wait till you see what Shyamalan's got for
you!"
The movie begins with tremendously bad titles and music.
It looks like some low budget straight-to-DVD movie. The
audience is then thrust into the big mystery why people
suddenly kill themselves all along the Eastern coast. Is
it terrorists? Is it chemicals in the wind? Is it the
trees? Is it the fact that these actors and extras were
duped into being in a Shyamalan movie?
Wahlberg is a high school teacher whose wife (Zooey
Deschanel) is cheating on him. His best buddy is a
fellow teacher, John Leguizamo, who plays his part with
quiet geekiness. Betty Buckley is a crazy old woman who
lives in the countryside. I guess Adam Rich really did
drive her crazy on "Eight is Enough." Suddenly when
people start committing suicide by plunging hair pins in
their necks, jumping off buildings, shooting themselves,
and laying down on the green grass just as a giant
lawnmower turns them into compost, you start realizing
that something's wrong. Sounds like a date movie to me!
It's Wahlberg who uses his superior science teaching
skills to save everybody.
The acting in the movie, despite having a good cast, is
dreadful. There's no connection between the characters
and the acting is flat. I think that Zooey Deschanel is
adorable and she was perfect for "Elf," but she's got
that one big blue-eyed expression through this whole
movie. She doesn't show one bit of emotion. Wahlberg is
Wahlberg, showing that he can be a nice guy and not the
Marky Mark street punk who got into acting to shed his
image. He's very bland in the role of Elliot Moore.
After seeing this film, I saw the Saturday Night Live
clip of "Mark Wahlberg Talks to Animals" and nearly fell
out of my chair laughing. Wahlberg has come a long way
from those days of his rap image when I couldn't stand
the guy. With his limited acting range, he can play the
perfect jerk ("The Departed"), or play a sympathetic guy
in the surprising, but uneven, "Boogie Nights." In this
movie, he's unbelievable and walks around practically
whispering his lines. It's almost as if he's trying to
be too nice and it's killing him inside.
When I set out to write this DVD review, I honestly
didn't think I'd write that much. But once I sat down to
write, I couldn't help but step back in time to that
screenwriting class. That critical side came out. I
think that "The Happening" is a bad movie. For that, Mr.
Shyamalan, I apologize if my criticism stings a bit. I'm
sure you're a nice guy in person, and I'd never tear
down your movie(s) in front of you. Maybe your next film will a whole lot
better. As for "The Happening," well...
Bill Kallay
Special thanks to Click Communications
Photos: © 20th Century Fox. All rights reserved.
| DVD Quick Glimpse | |
|
|
 |
